Fear of dying is not a fear of death but fear of a life not lived.
Shockingly 2 out of 3 people reading this are afraid of death according to the National Institute of Mental Health. In fact, people fear dying more than any other fear (except public speaking).
Every major religion focuses on death and what happens when someone dies. We do everything we can to ward off death whether it’s running every day, spending vast sums of money on healthcare or searching the frontier for a mythical fountain of youth.
We rarely ask why we are so fascinated or scared by death. Is it because no one knows what happens when we die? Is it because death is the end everyone faces?
Patrick Rhone has a different take. Fear of dying is not a fear of death but fear of a life not lived.
Living a Full Life
You are unique; the world wants you to assimilate.
From a young age, we are pushed into categories: athlete, author, good at math, likes to draw. Wherever we are, be it school, work or the local pub, we are assigned labels because it makes living in society more efficient.
It’s much easier to find an accountant by asking for a bulleted lists of characteristics of the typical accountant. It’s quicker to meet a friend knowing you want to spend time with others who like to fish. It’s more efficient to choose where to live by stereotyping cities based on the majority of their population.
The problem is: none of us are the same.
We have different life experiences, passions and beliefs. To say we are an author, athlete or accountant is to take a tiny piece of what makes us tick and cast it as the core of our being.
While these generalizations may be efficient or even necessary for society to function, we too often spend our lives attempting to fulfill the rote expectations.
We study exactly what is needed to qualify for a particular job instead of what interests us. We spend 48 weeks a year looking forward to 4 weeks of vacation. We surround ourselves with work colleagues or people we are supposed to spend time with instead of enjoying the presence of those who challenge and support us.
If we spend our lives forcing our unique selves into life’s pre-made boxes, we fear death.
We fear death not because it will be painful, but because it means we are out of time to discover who we are and what we’re capable of.
5 Deathbed Regrets
Living a full life takes the fear out of death and prevents the most common regrets people say aloud on their deathbed. According to palliative care expert Ms. Bronnie Ware, the five most common regrets voiced on one’s death bed include:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I didn’t work so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
If living a full life means dying without regret, this is our to-do list.
Prepare for Death with Action
You are not living your practice life. This is your life; your one life. Have the courage to be yourself and explore what you are capable of.
Your work does not define you; your legacy does. Build a legacy that is joyous and can be shared with friends. In the end you’ll be remembered for the connections you build and lives you have touched.
Mark Twain once noted: “A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Preparing for death should not involve fear but rather action.
What can you do today to live a full life?
The post Overcoming a Fear of Death appeared first on 9 Clouds.
